OK - LET'S TRY AGAIN

Blackberry Lily - Heritage Plant grown from Monticello stock 

Feel like I need a place to write and express myself.  I know this is public but it is not quite as in-your-face as Facebook.  There is a lot on my mind about faith, health, quilting, grandchildren, well life in general!  

I am such a fortunate woman.  I've been privileged to be married to wonderful man for over 44 years who has provided well for our family.  We are not wealthy, but we have never been in need.  I've worked when I wish, but don't feel like I have to do so.  Both of our adult children live near by and have busy, productive and happy lives.  We have three incredible grandchildren.  The oldest just started at St. Andrew's University in Edinburgh, Scotland!  What an adventure he is on :-)  Our precious granddaughters live five minutes away and we are actively involved in their daily lives.  There is very little that can compare to their joyful "Grandma!" as they run and give glorious hugs :-)  I am so blessed.

Yet,  I've dug myself into a hole and am not quite sure how to get out of it. I am significantly overweight and I hate it. But not enough to stop eating.  And now exercise is becoming more difficult.  I'm embarrassed to walk around the neighborhood and it often hurts my back and knees.  I joined the YMCA and enjoy water aerobics but have had trouble fitting it into my crazy, busy life.  I'd love to feel strong and svelte again but have little inertia to get up and get going.  In fact, I've had trouble breathing lately though the docs couldn't find much that concerned them yesterday (praise God).

Doug has done really well after the major coronary episode four years ago though he has not incorporated regular exercise into his life either and the draw of chocolate chips gets us both at night - with or without ice cream! Now he is experiencing a low level of prostate cancer and we need to decide on a course of action. 

I often feel just too busy to do all that I want to do.  Yet, my role as a nursing home chaplain is amazing.  The other day one of the long-term residents told me that when he arrived at OLOH his heart was cold.  But that now it is warm; and it was because of me.  He brought tears to my eyes even though I know it is the Holy Spirit working in him, but I am the Spirit's vehicle and that is awesome.    Apparently he is unable to come to worship or join in any group activities, but he always has a smile on his face and devours devotionals and the bible every day.  I only see him when I make a special effort to do so and that is only a couple of times a month.  It is tough to be a part-time chaplain with program responsibilities!  I get to share with groups, but it is so hard to find the time to visit one-on-one and that is what I really love to do.  I know that God is using me, but I wonder if becoming a volunteer would be better for me.  I know that is what Doug wants me to do.

I decided I needed a break so have signed up to attend a quilt retreat at a local Christian retreat center the first weekend in November.  I have so many UFOs to complete!  And I signed up for a single room thinking some time to read and be alone would be a good thing after working with others all day.  I'd hoped for four days, but may need to resign myself to three so that I can take one of the girls to gymnastics on Thursday - besides it will be her 5th birthday!

Well, I am actually trying a new crockpot recipe today - a beef stroganoff made with a bit of apple juice.  Should run to Food Lion and get sour cream, but will probably use a bit of cream cheese - don't think I have plain yogurt.  I decided that I need to cook more often!  

I think I will start a series based on Sarah Ban Breathnach's Simple Abundance, a book from the 1990s that I've read daily for several years. Something about it intrigues me and maybe reflecting on her posts will help me move forward.  

I should be outdoors today enjoying the brisk air and pretty blue skies, but am loving the quiet time.  I may need to close the window though - it is only 62 degrees outside! It's funny, just writing this journal entry has helped.  I feel like I can go and do something - de-clutter, sew, fold laundry - and I felt stuck earlier.  That is good :-)  Now I just need to master blogger!